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Clone Dictators of North Korea?
North Korean dictator Kim Jong il's long awaited journey into an assuredly horrid fiery afterlife is now a reality. Thoughts of him being roasted slowly yet eternally, hog tied on a spit with myriad minor demons rectally abusing him with pineapples dance happily through the heads of just about all South Koreans, escaped North Koreans, and most of the world's heads of state.
While jubilating over this highly anticipated event, we should not be distracted into overlooking the fact that sometimes true evil doesn't just die, it transcends and cheats both justice and death. There is evidence that in the case of the wily leader of North Korea, this very scenario may have been happening for decades, and right under our very noses.
How it all Started
Kim il Sung is well known to have founded what North Korea is today. It is said that on the day he was born to a virgin a bright star rose above his birthplace and angels appeared spreading flowers and farting pixie dust. His reign of terror over the country almost began shortly before WWII, but was interrupted when the Japanese invaded, at which time he ran away as fast as his little legs could carry him to Russia. Little is known of his reign of terror while sitting the war out there other than he was returned to Korea forcibly as soon as it was over.
Once settled into the northern section of the country and professing communism he quickly set about establishing the world's most completely oppressive, militarized, neighbor attacking, leader worshiping, brainwashed, starving, streetlight-less and nuclear ambitious prison camp; North Korea. This he accomplished by killing all intellectuals, village elders, civil servants and anyone civilian or military who disagreed with or even rolled their eyes at him via firing squad or putting them in work-till-you-die camps. He's also credited with holding fully democratic elections in which there is one party running, all citizens must vote, and a missed vote or one against the party means you must die. In short; all elections he won hands down by major landslides
Upon his so called death and entombment he was appointed “Eternal President”; This led us to suspect he's most probably not quite dead yet. Even though his body is safely interred and under constant armed guard, he's apparently absent from it. Besides, we all know it would be impossible for him to lead anything from a tomb.
Bring in the Clones
What is previously unknown is that while in the former Soviet Union Kim il Sung secretly absconded with a newly developed human cloning technology, one which the Russians themselves had shelved because of a marked tendency to produce progressively worsening physically and intellectually defective clones. What else not known is that from cumulative experience torturing and brainwashing various small animals, missionaries, diplomats, captured soldiers, and his own people, he had developed a technique for inserting a foreign soul into another's body after ridding it of the one it came with. This technique works even better on clones, as they don't come with a soul to begin with. and since clones made from his own cells closely resembled him...
In a first for any communist nation, Kim il Sung established a hereditary dynasty by appointing his 'son' Kim Jong il to succeed him just shortly before his death. Other communist nations were in shock, as well they should have been; after all, isn't a dictatorial monarchic dynasty diametrically opposed to what communism's supposed to be about in the first place?
Kim il Sung and Kim Jong il have always looked strikingly- no, alarmingly alike. Legend has it that Kim Jong il was also born of a virgin, that winter turned to spring on his birth, and that he himself farts flowers and pixie dust. Nevertheless, no one really knows his origins for certain. At the death of Kim il Sung, this entirely look alike 'son' Kim Jong il took over as supreme power in North Korea, killed all the heads of government and leaders his father appoimted, had himself democratically elected in a one party vote-or-you-die election, and as chance would have it continued doing exactly the same things as his predecessor without so much as a skip in stride.
History in an undeviating progression
shows North Korea under both 'Kims' pursuing these same tyrannical behaviors
of oppression, militarization, neighbor attacking, leader worshiping,
brainwashing, starving of his own people, not installing street lights and
testing nuclear weapons within his tiny country, which just happens to
remain the world’s largest fortified prison camp. Worse yet, he became
friends with Dennis Rodman
Return of the Clone Prince
As the health of Kim Jong il
deteriorated over the years and hope rose in the rest of the world that this
anachronistic tyrant would soon die off we were once again sobered into
Kim Jong un seems to have wasted little time in stepping directly into his 'fathers' shoes, killing all the heads of government and leaders his father appointed, then having himself democratically elected in a one party vote-or-you-die landslide election. Initiating yet another North Korean threat to its neighbors, he then attacked South Korean and began massing weaponry along their borders.
Tightening his internal grip on an already starving, poverty stricken, brainwashed and enslaved population he then cemented his position as eternal leader by effectively telling the rest of the world it can kiss his ass because he now has not just one but many atomic bombs, and he plans on using them on the U.S. and anyone else he dislikes up to and including himself. Worse yet, him and Dennis Rodman are best friends. Thus he is promising all sorts of other interesting 'Kim' style nastiness if we don't get with his program.
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